Steve S.
Social Worker
For Steve, supporting adults with intellectual disabilities isn’t just a job — it’s a way of strengthening community from the inside out. After ten years in a group home setting, he’s seen how choice, connection, and the right support can change what independence looks like for each person.
Q: What surprised you most when you started working in a group home?
A: How ordinary life is here — and I mean that in the best way. There’s breakfast and routines and chores and arguments over whose turn it is to pick the movie. It’s not a hospital, it’s not a classroom, it’s a home. Supporting people to have a home means protecting that sense of normalcy. Choice is the heart of it. Without choice, support becomes control, and nobody wants to be controlled in their own home.
Q: What does a good day look like for you?
A: A good day is steady. Nobody feels rushed, everyone gets to make choices, and the house feels like a place, not a schedule. We get errands done, someone learns or practices a skill, and there’s some laughter — usually over something small like music or cooking or teasing the staff. Good days aren’t dramatic. They’re the ones that feel like life moving forward quietly.
Q: What about the hard days?
A: Hard days are usually communication days. Someone’s anxious, someone’s sensory overloaded, someone’s upset and can’t explain why. Sometimes it’s about something as small as a change in cereal or a cancelled outing, but the emotion is real and loud and you can’t just reason with it. You have to let people feel what they feel and guide them back to calm. There are also days when families are struggling, or systems move slowly, or staffing is thin. That’s when you learn that support work is teamwork — you can’t do it alone.
Q: What have you learned about independence through this work?
A: Independence isn’t about doing everything without help — that’s the misconception. Independence is about choosing the help you want and having agency in your own life. Some of the most “independent” moments I’ve seen weren’t big milestones. They were things like paying for groceries, calling a friend, refusing something you don’t want, or asking for space.
Choice is the heart of it. Without choice, support becomes control, and nobody wants to be controlled in their own home.
Q: People talk a lot about skill building. What does that actually look like here?
A: Skill building looks like repetition, patience, and celebrating small wins. It’s cooking together and practicing knife safety for weeks before anything changes. It’s learning how to use the washing machine without flooding the laundry room. It’s budgeting allowance so there’s still money left on Friday. Sometimes skills don’t become independent, but they become shared — and that counts. Not everything needs to be mastered to be meaningful.